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“Take me home country roads, to the place I belong, Nazeing Common….”
From two memorable wins to the Chairman going to hospital, to the clubs opening bat being chatted up with 60 year old Belgian men at 3 in the morning, Nazeing Common’s first overseas venture was an undoubted success.
Chairman Peter Barker had begun planning this 125th Anniversary celebration event more than 12 months earlier, and at 7am on Friday 5th September 2008, 31 Nazeing tourists were on the bus in The Sun Inn car park ready to make history.
A somewhat subdued bus journey to Folkestone followed, ironically seeing the younger tourists at the back of the bus (Messrs Plume, Walker, Blair and Sturdy T) drifting in and out of sleep whilst engrossed in their I Pod’s, with Lee Walker appearing to have a strong and somewhat worrying liking for Wham’s back catalogue.
And so the ladies and gents of Nazeing, together with bus driver Kirby, arrived at the Euro Tunnel.
Having been slightly buoyed by a Burger King breakfast and Graham McDonnell’s salmon sandwich joke (you’ll have to ask him to repeat it!), the party set off for the 9.50 to Calais.
Once arrived in Calais, the tourists set off for the journey through France and into Belgium, stopping briefly on route for petrol and some crisps for Michael Blair.
Having arrived in Antwerp mid afternoon, the driver then spent 20 minutes attempting to find the hotel and eventually the destination, The Ramada Plaza hotel, was found.
With a meet time of 5pm agreed to make the short journey to the ground, most spent a couple of hours acclimatising, with the more experienced travellers such as Barker and Murphy heading into town, whilst the younger lads settled for a brief walk in the rain around the local area, finding nothing but cyclists.
Shortly before meet time the majority of the touring party met up with the remaining members of the touring part, Aki, Anne, Mark and Jacqui, who had arrived the night before.
Todd Sturdy then put to use his recently acquired GCSE’s when spelling the word CRECKET on the flag purchased in Folkestone for the touring party to sign!
An impromptu signing session took place as the rest of the team waited for Barker and entourage to turn up and once they had it was off to the ground in Rumst.
All wasn't to plan however, as pouring rain meant play was unlikely, with the 15 minute journey to the ground only brightened up by the questionably positioned ‘shop’ complete with waving young lady in the window.
Well spotted Darren Dack !!
With the rain continuing to fall as the players arrived at the ground, it was unanimous all round that drinks were in order. And then some more drinks. And a few more too.
Dominic Stone and the Coleman’s led some kind of strange card game in the armchair seats section of the bar, whilst skipper Barker arranged a game of ten10 cricket with the hosts, Antwerp CC, batting first.
The visitors mustered just 61 in a ten over thrash memorable only for Michael Blair dropping two consecutive sitters, with the third sailing towards him in a row, only for the youngster to breathe a huge sigh of relief as it sailed over his head for six.
Lee Walker was the man who proudly took the honour of being the first man to be hit for two unofficial sixes on international duty for the club.
Christian Rowntree provided the rock at the start of the innings for the visitors with Todd Sturdy in typically good form scoring runs over the top on this incredibly long outfield.
Having not had a lengthy coach journey to suffer, most had good money on Mark Sturdy and Aki Achillea easing Nazeing Common home to victory, but when they registered 0 and 0 respectively, things looked dodgy for the hosts, but runs from Blair saw them home.
Antwerp were proving excellent hosts and Nazeing were donating sufficient money to their bar profits whilst enjoying chat with their hosts and tucking into up to 5 pieces of meat from the barbeque.
Shortly before the squad were set to leave, a proud Nazeing Chairman Peter Barker presented a 125th Anniversary pennant to a slightly merry Antwerp Chairman Dennis Newport, who gave a lengthy but heartfelt speech on the spirit of cricket as trusty sidekick Toby the dog looked on.
The tourists then set off back to the hotel intent on celebrating a good victory, albeit one that wouldn't feature in the official stats.
Kevin Murphy was the man to take charge upon return, with the big wicket keeper asking around and discovering that their was a bar just 300 yards down the road that the assorted Nazeing troops could descend upon. Several thousand yards later Kevin did find the bar, with a ‘To Let’ sign on the door.
Not to be defeated by this, the thirsty tourists then managed to ask a local who pointed them down a long road.
Having passed numerous closed shops and some graffiti in Flemish that looked surprisingly similar to the ‘Ken Dodd’s Dad’s Dogs Dead’ piece that adorns a wall just outside White Hart Lane, the ladies and gents of NCCC eventually found a watering hole.
And what a terrific little bar it turned out to be. Immediately welcoming, with free crisps and nuts even provided, the touring party set about letting their hair down and enjoying a night in Antwerp.
A quiet start with a few drinks and conversation was soon interrupted with an impromptu sing song, as McDonnell, Achillea, Sturdy M and Plume led the Nazeing contingent through a Tom Jones medley amongst other songs that include Country Roads (with ‘Nazeing Common’ replacing West Virginia!) and quite bizarrely the 1978 Paper Lace / Nottingham Forest classic collaboration ‘We’ve got the whole world in our hands’.
With the extremely tasty Belgian beer (and extremely generous shots of shorts!) kicking in, the tourists were soon on their feet and enjoying a dance with the locals.
 
Stopping only briefly as the Nazeing Ladies (or Sisters Lovers And Girlfriend’s as they were tagged) treated us to a seemingly endless rendition of ‘I Will Survive’, with Jacqui O’Neill managing to receive attention from a random Belgian, before pointing to Mark’s vacated chair with the words ‘that’s my boyfriend there’ (the Saturday first team skipper had disappeared off muttering the words “it's a girls song” over and over!).
Disappointed, the Belgian returned to his chair at the bar, and began to drink with his friend….and it was his friend who was next in line to dance, with Kevin Murphy encouraging the 4ft something Mini-Me look-alikes into a dance as he headed to the bar to buy another round, in one of the most hilarious incidents in NCCC history.
 
A brief display of Greek dancing from veteran batsman Aki Achillea was noticed by the observant hosts and Zorba The Greek was soon blaring out over the speakers, with the Achillea’s taking centre stage.
 
A River Dance solo from Darren Dack was next, with Graham McDonnell in full supporting violin playing mode, before Mike Plume accepted the invite from Dack to take the floor from some Irish Dancing of his own, with Dack, Achillea and Dominic Stone finishing the number with a fine joint effort.
The clock was now moving towards 3am and after several hours of dancing and drinking, and a sleeping Paul Johnson getting a 2nd, 3rd and 4th wind, the evening began to wind down, but not before party king Dack treated the entire bar to an exhibition of pole dancing, sportingly matched by the somewhat attractive female barmaid!
A drunken Aki Achillea had staggered outside and soon found himself deep in conversation with a 65 year old Belgian man named ‘Jerry’, who had mistaken Achillea for a ‘Man of the night’ and offered him back to his place for drinks.
Sadly, Achillea was rescued by the touring party, who then set off for a 15 minute stagger back to the hotel, with the Achillea’s and Sturdy’s posing for a photo with a big statue of a cow in a local front garden!
The morning after the night before proved to be an extremely subdued affair, with very few making the trip down to breakfast.
The Coleman’s were amongst those that did and despite a sign in the lift welcoming Nazeing to breakfast, they were placed in a different dining room and then moved, with the management apologising having mistaken them for members of the Polish volleyball team who were also staying in the Ramada!
As recovered as they were ever going to be, the players set off at lunchtime for a second trip to the Rumst ground, with Graham McDonnell installed as Skipper for the day.
Several beers and a team photograph later, McDonnell followed Nazeing tradition and lost the toss, with the hosts electing to bat first.
Darren Dack became the first man to officially take a wicket for Nazeing Common Cricket Club internationally, before Michael Blair had the honour of being the first man to be hit for six overseas!
Fielding a talented looking Belgian international who was removed playing a tennis shot half way down the track to Lee Walker, whilst there were good bowling performances from Darren Dack, Mike Plume and a fine 2-3 from spin king Mark Sturdy that kept the visitors down to 124 all out.
Shortly into the contest Paul Johnson received a blow to the shin whilst fielding, which strangely coincided with the news that the barrel of Jupiler was nearly at its conclusion, and sure enough, by the interval the announcement was made that the touring party had consumed 200 beers.
A fine effort from all concerned.
Having started slowly, with Aki Achillea removed for an average destroying 2 by a fine low slip catch, Nazeing stuttered to 50-5, but a brilliant 37* from Todd Sturdy saw Nazeing take control, with Peter Barker 30* when a slightly wayward throw glanced the head of the Chairman, cutting him wide open.
Barker was immediately rushed to hospital by coach, where he paid €64 for the privilege of 7 bright blue stitches. A calm 7 from veteran batsman Mark Sturdy in support of his son Todd saw Nazeing home. 
Nazeing were treated to a round of drinks from Graham McDonnell after the contest, having won a wager with Antwerp’s Dennis Newport. McDonnell backed his men
So bottled beer was the order of the day as the remaining players and supporters watched the sun set and chatted nonsense at the ground, with the more refined sportsman gathered round as news of important non-league football results from back home came through to Mike Plume’s mobile.
Once the coach had returned from taking our illustrious Chairman to the local medical facility, it was time for all to say goodbye to their excellent hosts and head back to the hotel for a quick change before heading into Antwerp City Centre for dinner at t’Zolderke restaurant.
The restaurant, a rustic building with nicely decorated interior, was open exclusively for the tourists, and following a steep climb to the first floor, the hungry troops were ready for dinner.
With the newly stitched up Barks re-joining the smartly dressed Nazeing Common contingent in time for the proceedings, the group set about tucking into a delicious meal of Potato stuffed with shrimps, vodka and cream covered with salmon egg, followed byTournedos of beef with mushrooms, chicory and a thyme-honey sauce and wrapped up nicely with Crème brûlée with a sweet, crispy biscuit, with up to half a bottle of wine each.
Mention has to go to the very tasty waitress, whilst Aki is probably still trying to work out why Graham ‘Uri Geller’ McDonnell’s explanation of the special Austrian cutlery Aki appeared to have been given didn't add up. There is a price to pay in restaurants when you go outside to smoke it seems!
A leisurely stroll round the city centre followed, virtually deserted following the conclusion of the Laundry Festival earlier in the day, so most opted to jump on a tram back to the hotel for drinks at the bar, whilst Bazza and Woodsy mysteriously disappeared, with the only the revelation the following morning from Mr Ferguson that the two had found a rave bar explaining things.
A much quieter couple of rounds of drinks followed before the bulk of the touring party headed to bed at around 2am, with the long return journey the next morning awaiting them.
Breakfast was a much better attended affair on the Sunday morning, with the only shock being the decision of Michael Blair to turn his nose up at any more donuts, with the excuse of ‘there’s no jam in then’ not washing with most.
So two days, 7 stitches, several hangovers, two international victories and a signed flag with the word ‘crecket’ on it later, the Nazeing Common Cricket Club 125th Anniversary touring party set off home for England.
But of course, this being an NCCC tour, the fun and games were far from over. 40 minutes short of the French border a motorcycle with flashing lights escorted Kirkby and his coach full of knackered passengers to the hard shoulder, where a 50 Euro fine was administered for speeding and, crucially, daring to overtake in the rain. Illegal since 2006 by Belgian Law apparently. You learn something everyday folks.
A brief stop off at the service station in France saw three quarters of the bus in the same queue buying boxes of chocolates, whilst Kevin Murphy seemed interested in the large collection of cheap ‘art magazines’ that sat in the corner next to the maps of Europe and the barbeques!
A stroll around duty free and a passport check was all that stood in the way of the 14.50 Euro Tunnel back home, with the bus arriving back in the Sun Inn car park as the players took tea over at the home of cricket.
  
And so the weekend ended as it begun……with Johnners standing at the bar with a drink in his hand !
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